First Time in a Long Time

           Yesterday I went to church for first time since January. I  visited a different church and went without my DH since he was occupied with other things. The church was nice and reminded me of the church that was associated with my college. Tennessee Temple University. The pastor was ok, not sure if he will challenge me enough though. I went to Sunday School as well. The class was nice and so were the people. Finding a church in my area is hard, especially during the summer. Florida has a large elder population and during the summer half the old people leave to go up north.

           Today for the first time since May, I made it to the gym. I did 30 minutes of cardio and 3 strength training exercises.  I did 3 sets of 20 on the leg press with 90 lbs., three sets of 12 on the hip adduction machine with 50 lbs., and three sets if 12 on the butterfly press with 30 lbs. When I was working with a trainer that is part of the routine she had me on. I need to get back in the swing of things and not finding the motivation.

          Having my husband home all the time because of his injury is stressing me out. We shouldn’t be together all the time, I need a little personal time. Our money is low and stresses me out too. We are going to be late on our rent. I am sure none of this stress is helping the TTC situation any.

Wanting Success- Sabotaging Myself

I got home Wednesday night and have been pretty much going at full steam since then. Wednesday night I came home and had to clean up the hallway floor. We keep the puppy there when we are gone and my husband spent the night at his mom’s so there were a couple messes on the floor. Our neighbor came over quite a few times to take the dog out. I also gave the puppy a bath. He kind of smelled like pee. I got my husband set up in bed with pain pills for his broken ankle.

            Thursday I did laundry all day, cooked my husband meals, and cleaned house. I pretty much did the same on Friday. Yesterday was the first time I could relax and process everything that is going on right now. Today I am experiencing the repercussions of the stressors hitting me all at once.  Right now we kind of live paycheck to paycheck. My husband can’t work right now because of his broken ankle. We are going to be late on our rent. That is so stressing me out. My husband had a job interview last Tuesday but we won’t know for sure until later next week. It is a better job and one that will take our family where it needs to go.

            Because life is stressing me out. I tend to kind of hit the pause button. I had such a plan of what life was going to look like after I got back from my vacation, going to the gym, eating right, and improving my mental health. Ughhh!!! Today I had 6 donuts for breakfast.  Regret is here. Why do I let stress over rule me?!?! God has it under control. He has always taken care of me. This too will pass. I don't like to stress eat, and honestly the Metformin makes it an awful experience.  It is not that I don't know what to do. It is just doing it. What makes you take the right steps when you are so stressed?

Day 24:

How has your financial situation affected your infertility journey? (Fitting question considering my life update.)

 If I had a better financial situation I would be a foster mom. The only thing stopping us is finances. We want a second vehicle, a storage unit, and all the things to make a cute nursery. I would not pursue more medical treatments.